| -Story- | |
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Should i continue this story? | Yes, it's pretty good so far. | | 0% | [ 0 ] | No, it doesn't look interesting. | | 0% | [ 0 ] | Maybe, but this is what you need to do.. (put this in your post) | | 100% | [ 2 ] |
| Total Votes : 2 | | |
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
| Subject: -Story- 1/11/2010, 11:53 am | |
| ''There is nothing left.. everything is gone. Where is everything? Why is it gone and how did it disappear?'' This made no sense to John. What did he mean with 'everything'? John was quite sure that this didn't make any sense at all and that 'everything' didn't refer to something. He decided to ask him anyway. ''Dad, what do you mean with 'everything'?'' 'Sorry John, but i can't tell you. You're too young to understand.' his dad responded. 'One day you will understand what i said John.' John sighed and stood up. 'I will see you again tomorrow dad. Take care.' Then he walked away. While he was walking home he didn't really think of the conversation he just had with his dad. What he did think about, was how fast his dad became senile. Last year his dad was still completely ok and although his body was getting older, it seemed like his mind stayed young. But now he even forgets what the current year is. | |
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Fiaman Bangkok
Posts : 822 Prestige : 6466 Verve-Fame : 143 Join date : 2009-12-21 Age : 33 Location : Charlotte
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/11/2010, 2:20 pm | |
| Maybe you should give some background info on the father and son relationship a bit more to catch some more eyes. I mean i want to know what he was like before he became so senile what words of wisdom did he have to share? | |
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/11/2010, 2:32 pm | |
| Yeah, that's a pretty good idea. I was already thinking of some kind of flashback and then slowly work towards the present again. | |
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Fiaman Bangkok
Posts : 822 Prestige : 6466 Verve-Fame : 143 Join date : 2009-12-21 Age : 33 Location : Charlotte
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/11/2010, 2:36 pm | |
| - MH16 wrote:
- Yeah, that's a pretty good idea. I was already thinking of some kind of flashback and then slowly work towards the present again.
Sounds good I look forward to reading it. | |
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
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Fiaman Bangkok
Posts : 822 Prestige : 6466 Verve-Fame : 143 Join date : 2009-12-21 Age : 33 Location : Charlotte
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/12/2010, 8:32 pm | |
| Ditto im lazy too... | |
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DarkKingBernard Boeing
Posts : 753 Prestige : 6250 Verve-Fame : 50 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 27 Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 5:02 am | |
| Maybe, but this is what you need to do.. (After a few years,john asked his dad something,but he farted.The End) | |
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 8:50 am | |
| - DarkKingBernard wrote:
- Maybe, but this is what you need to do.. (After a few years,john asked his dad something,but he farted.The End)
How about this: The next day, John went to visit his dad again. When he arrived, his dad was still sleeping. ''Dad, wake up.'' whispered John softly in his ear. His dad opened his eyes and saw John. Then he spoke to John, but John could hear that he had almost no air in his lungs. ''John..'' he said. ''John, i want to tell you something..'' ''What is it dad?'' ''I am not.. please forgive me John, please.'' ''You are not what?'' John responded, almost crying. But then his dad farted and died. The end. | |
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Fiaman Bangkok
Posts : 822 Prestige : 6466 Verve-Fame : 143 Join date : 2009-12-21 Age : 33 Location : Charlotte
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 11:23 am | |
| Uhh mh that is a little weird for an ending lol | |
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DarkKingBernard Boeing
Posts : 753 Prestige : 6250 Verve-Fame : 50 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 27 Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 2:14 pm | |
| I like the ending Verve-Fame+ | |
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 2:28 pm | |
| Haha, it wasn't a serious ending. I mean, i'm not actually going to use it :p | |
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DarkKingBernard Boeing
Posts : 753 Prestige : 6250 Verve-Fame : 50 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 27 Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 2:31 pm | |
| - MH16 wrote:
- Haha, it wasn't a serious ending. I mean, i'm not actually going to use it :p
Verve Fame- How about that then. | |
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 2:35 pm | |
| Noooo, you are so cruel. I need that Verve Fame to survive Must.. get.. Verve.. Fame.. | |
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DarkKingBernard Boeing
Posts : 753 Prestige : 6250 Verve-Fame : 50 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 27 Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 2:37 pm | |
| Then raise mine to 10 and ill raise yours to 11 | |
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 2:41 pm | |
| When i said that i need Verve Fame i was being sarcastic. I don't give a crap :p I'll give you some Verve Fame when i agree with your post or find it funny, not when you ask for it | |
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DarkKingBernard Boeing
Posts : 753 Prestige : 6250 Verve-Fame : 50 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 27 Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina
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Mussirus Italia Ferrari
Posts : 479 Prestige : 5981 Verve-Fame : 94 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 31 Location : Holland
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 3:03 pm | |
| - DarkKingBernard wrote:
- Next time,put *sarcasm* at the end or else(pic below)
Geez, i am so sorry that you can't tell when i'm being sarcastic. Really. | |
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Fiaman Bangkok
Posts : 822 Prestige : 6466 Verve-Fame : 143 Join date : 2009-12-21 Age : 33 Location : Charlotte
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/13/2010, 8:57 pm | |
| Ok now lets not get this out of hand.. Im watching you two. | |
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DarkKingBernard Boeing
Posts : 753 Prestige : 6250 Verve-Fame : 50 Join date : 2010-01-05 Age : 27 Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina
| Subject: Re: -Story- 1/14/2010, 4:12 am | |
| - MH16 wrote:
- DarkKingBernard wrote:
- Next time,put *sarcasm* at the end or else(pic below)
Geez, i am so sorry that you can't tell when i'm being sarcastic. Really.
Hahahaha i was just kidding.Sometimes i can tell when someone is sarcastic(or not) | |
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