Verve Joint
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.



 
HomeRadioPortalGalleryLatest imagesSearchRegisterLog in

 

 -Story-

Go down 
3 posters

Should i continue this story?
Yes, it's pretty good so far.
-Story- I_vote_lcap0%-Story- I_vote_rcap
 0% [ 0 ]
No, it doesn't look interesting.
-Story- I_vote_lcap0%-Story- I_vote_rcap
 0% [ 0 ]
Maybe, but this is what you need to do.. (put this in your post)
-Story- I_vote_lcap100%-Story- I_vote_rcap
 100% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 2
 

AuthorMessage
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/11/2010, 11:53 am

''There is nothing left.. everything is gone. Where is everything? Why is it gone and how did it disappear?''
This made no sense to John. What did he mean with 'everything'? John was quite sure that this didn't make any sense at all and that 'everything' didn't refer to something. He decided to ask him anyway.
''Dad, what do you mean with 'everything'?''
'Sorry John, but i can't tell you. You're too young to understand.' his dad responded. 'One day you will understand what i said John.'
John sighed and stood up. 'I will see you again tomorrow dad. Take care.' Then he walked away.
While he was walking home he didn't really think of the conversation he just had with his dad. What he did think about, was how fast his dad became senile. Last year his dad was still completely ok and although his body was getting older, it seemed like his mind stayed young. But now he even forgets what the current year is.
Back to top Go down
Fiaman
Bangkok
Bangkok
Fiaman


Posts : 822
Prestige : 6466
Verve-Fame : 143
Join date : 2009-12-21
Age : 33
Location : Charlotte

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/11/2010, 2:20 pm

Maybe you should give some background info on the father and son relationship a bit more to catch some more eyes. I mean i want to know what he was like before he became so senile what words of wisdom did he have to share? Smile
Back to top Go down
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/11/2010, 2:32 pm

Yeah, that's a pretty good idea. I was already thinking of some kind of flashback and then slowly work towards the present again.
Back to top Go down
Fiaman
Bangkok
Bangkok
Fiaman


Posts : 822
Prestige : 6466
Verve-Fame : 143
Join date : 2009-12-21
Age : 33
Location : Charlotte

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/11/2010, 2:36 pm

MH16 wrote:
Yeah, that's a pretty good idea. I was already thinking of some kind of flashback and then slowly work towards the present again.
Sounds good I look forward to reading it. Wink
Back to top Go down
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/11/2010, 2:42 pm

Fiaman wrote:
Sounds good I look forward to reading it. Wink

That's probably gonna take a while, because i intend to make a pretty long story. Also, i'm lazy. Very lazy. But i'll post it here when it's finished Very Happy
Back to top Go down
Fiaman
Bangkok
Bangkok
Fiaman


Posts : 822
Prestige : 6466
Verve-Fame : 143
Join date : 2009-12-21
Age : 33
Location : Charlotte

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/12/2010, 8:32 pm

Ditto im lazy too... Razz
Back to top Go down
DarkKingBernard
Boeing
Boeing
DarkKingBernard


Posts : 753
Prestige : 6250
Verve-Fame : 50
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 27
Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 5:02 am

Maybe, but this is what you need to do.. (After a few years,john asked his dad something,but he farted.The End)
Back to top Go down
http://darkkingbernard.newgrounds.com/
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 8:50 am

DarkKingBernard wrote:
Maybe, but this is what you need to do.. (After a few years,john asked his dad something,but he farted.The End)

How about this:
The next day, John went to visit his dad again. When he arrived, his dad was still sleeping.
''Dad, wake up.'' whispered John softly in his ear. His dad opened his eyes and saw John. Then he spoke to John, but John could hear that he had almost no air in his lungs. ''John..'' he said. ''John, i want to tell you something..''
''What is it dad?''
''I am not.. please forgive me John, please.''
''You are not what?'' John responded, almost crying.
But then his dad farted and died.
The end.
Back to top Go down
Fiaman
Bangkok
Bangkok
Fiaman


Posts : 822
Prestige : 6466
Verve-Fame : 143
Join date : 2009-12-21
Age : 33
Location : Charlotte

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 11:23 am

Uhh mh that is a little weird for an ending lol
Back to top Go down
DarkKingBernard
Boeing
Boeing
DarkKingBernard


Posts : 753
Prestige : 6250
Verve-Fame : 50
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 27
Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 2:14 pm

I like the ending Razz
Verve-Fame+
Back to top Go down
http://darkkingbernard.newgrounds.com/
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 2:28 pm

Haha, it wasn't a serious ending. I mean, i'm not actually going to use it :p
Back to top Go down
DarkKingBernard
Boeing
Boeing
DarkKingBernard


Posts : 753
Prestige : 6250
Verve-Fame : 50
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 27
Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 2:31 pm

MH16 wrote:
Haha, it wasn't a serious ending. I mean, i'm not actually going to use it :p

Verve Fame-
How about that then.
Back to top Go down
http://darkkingbernard.newgrounds.com/
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 2:35 pm

Noooo, you are so cruel. I need that Verve Fame to survive pale
Must.. get.. Verve.. Fame..
Back to top Go down
DarkKingBernard
Boeing
Boeing
DarkKingBernard


Posts : 753
Prestige : 6250
Verve-Fame : 50
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 27
Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 2:37 pm

Then raise mine to 10 and ill raise yours to 11
Back to top Go down
http://darkkingbernard.newgrounds.com/
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 2:41 pm

When i said that i need Verve Fame i was being sarcastic. I don't give a crap :p I'll give you some Verve Fame when i agree with your post or find it funny, not when you ask for it Evil or Very Mad
Back to top Go down
DarkKingBernard
Boeing
Boeing
DarkKingBernard


Posts : 753
Prestige : 6250
Verve-Fame : 50
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 27
Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 2:49 pm

MH16 wrote:
When i said that i need Verve Fame i was being sarcastic. I don't give a crap :p I'll give you some Verve Fame when i agree with your post or find it funny, not when you ask for it Evil or Very Mad

Next time,put *sarcasm* at the end or else(pic below)
-Story- Dead-man-s-shoes-5
Back to top Go down
http://darkkingbernard.newgrounds.com/
Mussirus
Italia Ferrari
Italia Ferrari
Mussirus


Posts : 479
Prestige : 5981
Verve-Fame : 94
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 31
Location : Holland

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 3:03 pm

DarkKingBernard wrote:
Next time,put *sarcasm* at the end or else(pic below)

Geez, i am so sorry that you can't tell when i'm being sarcastic. Really.
Neutral
Back to top Go down
Fiaman
Bangkok
Bangkok
Fiaman


Posts : 822
Prestige : 6466
Verve-Fame : 143
Join date : 2009-12-21
Age : 33
Location : Charlotte

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/13/2010, 8:57 pm

Ok now lets not get this out of hand.. Im watching you two. Shocked
Back to top Go down
DarkKingBernard
Boeing
Boeing
DarkKingBernard


Posts : 753
Prestige : 6250
Verve-Fame : 50
Join date : 2010-01-05
Age : 27
Location : Bosnia And Herzegovina

-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty1/14/2010, 4:12 am

MH16 wrote:
DarkKingBernard wrote:
Next time,put *sarcasm* at the end or else(pic below)

Geez, i am so sorry that you can't tell when i'm being sarcastic. Really.
Neutral

Hahahaha i was just kidding.Sometimes i can tell when someone is sarcastic(or not)
Back to top Go down
http://darkkingbernard.newgrounds.com/
Sponsored content





-Story- Empty
PostSubject: Re: -Story-   -Story- Empty

Back to top Go down
 
-Story-
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» A story
» A story.
» A Story : The Sequal
» Mini-Story Time!
» Continue the story (game)

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Verve Joint :: Writers Corner :: Creative Writing-
Jump to: