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 my first song called ten men

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bobjonesbeefjerky
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PostSubject: my first song called ten men   12/26/2009, 10:08 pm

i just wrote this song yesterdat but i think its preety cool tell me wat you think and stuff i kno youll live it

labor of these ten men can be saved
the flour which will be the product
of the action of the mill will
from that moment

fall in value in proportion
to the amount of labor saved
and society will find itself enriched
by all the value of the things

which the labor of these ten men can produce


Thats about it give me crits plz
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Jomadx
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PostSubject: Re: my first song called ten men   12/26/2009, 10:44 pm

it's good, seems to flow well.

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dj-roxopolis
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PostSubject: Re: my first song called ten men   12/27/2009, 1:06 pm

are u like a communist or something?
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PostSubject: Re: my first song called ten men   12/31/2009, 12:03 am

I think the lyrics are good. Keep at it.
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PostSubject: Re: my first song called ten men   12/31/2009, 12:03 am

awesumdewd wrote:
amg bobjones is a dirty commie basturd

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
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Jomadx
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PostSubject: Re: my first song called ten men   12/31/2009, 12:42 am

i had to delete that post.

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Adrian
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PostSubject: Re: my first song called ten men   1/8/2010, 5:57 pm

Yeah, pretty good.
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